There was plenty of dysfunction in my family and I went to Catholic School with these psychotic nuns. I would always try to be funny to lighten the mood.
I think I knew I was funny in Elementary School. I think most funny people realize it when they're young. It tends to come out of stress or trauma - something that makes you want to be funny.
I think you figure out how to be funny by necessity. It's not a natural thing, being funny in the face of tragedy is kind of demented.
I don't just want to be successful I want to have fun.
I think the obsession with wanting to change yourself is crazy over the top.
Be relentless and then you'll break through.
I hate being mean. I watch those roasts on Comedy Central and they make the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
I love Kathy Griffin, I think she's brilliant, but for me, there is a line when I go OK, that's too much.
Debbie Gibson and dog food. I've always dreamed of this.
The best thing about becoming successful is that you get flowers all the time.
I got confused. I thought it was a K.Y. scare, so I bought 2000 jars of personal lubricant. I still have some.
You have to do anything you can think of that gets you excited.