I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby's behind. If his ass was covered in calluses. Votes: 5
I love my mom! You can too for $12! Votes: 0
Sometimes I wish I hadn't said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime. Votes: 0
I'm fortunate to know a lot of incredibly talented people, and they all want to be a penguin. Votes: 0
It's smart to marry your yoga teacher so when you get divorced you know how to go down on yourself. Votes: 0
I really love making people laugh. Votes: 0
I can't do negative, needy, or narcissistic anymore. Oh wait, I can still do the last one, aw nuts. Votes: 0
Everyone I love I pay. Votes: 0
Some dead people said smart stuff. Votes: 0
I'd like a nice piece of salmon that's not too pink inside and yet isn't too dry or crisp either. Votes: 0
Valuable people are undervalued. Votes: 0
Aristotle said, Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. Isn't that a three-way? Votes: 0
I don't censor myself, but I don't want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either. Votes: 0
I love telling stories and acting and entertaining people. I don't want to make fun of people. Votes: 0